Nipun

I have always been an anxious kid. Getting intimidated by what everyone told me about how life was to be lived. I’ve always been questioning everything and worrying about every little detail of life. I’ve always felt intense feelings of loneliness even around the people who love me. I had my first panic attack 2 years ago and I was diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I felt ashamed like I was weak or something. Never felt happy with the way I was. Everyone else seemed to handle life so easily, but I couldn’t. Future always scared me. Depression, anxiety, panic attack have all been a part of my life. They made me turn towards spirituality. I’ve been on medication but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted answers and spirituality helped me to have a different point of view on things. I read about Zen buddhism, the ancient ideoligies of Hinduism like vedanta, they helped me cope with my anxieties and fears. I still get bad on some days when even getting out of bed seems impossible. It always strikes in waves. others really dont seem to understand how difficult it is to fight something you can’t see and keep it at bay all the time. But I’m still here, still breathing, still dreaming and still making sense of the pain.

Peace out