Nicole

I don’t remember ever physically feeling reactions to anger or other emotions until after having kids – I was that oblivious & distracted. But the catchphrase of undiagnosed adult females was there.. ‘what is wrong with me?’ As always, there are many other stories intertwined, but when my husband left me we had 2 kids under 3 & I had no career or family nearby. As I worked through the insane rejection, continued poor treatment and fallout, & lived on my own for the first time, I noticed I never improved at keeping the house or ‘getting more organised’ like my friends who carried me through that first year. Not to mention my constant extreme highs & lows emotionally. I knew I wasn’t depressed, but I also wasn’t okay. One night I innocently clicked on a Facebook article and my world was changed forever. I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019 at 26. I wish people understood the way it affects everything and causes so much chaos constantly. It would take a day or a week to truly explain that! The stigma is real on so many levels, especially because a lot of people with ADHD will present quite differently, many do simply grow out of it, and it is arguably the most poorly named disorder in existence. 75% of females aren’t hyperactive, you have too much attention not a deficit, & it’s biological, the only way to ‘get it’ is very rarely through head injury. Medication has been crazy helpful as one tool, but relearning a lifetime of self talk, criticism & frustration + neurotypical expectations is a slow process. It’s exhausting, it undermines me everywhere I turn & being a single parent is the hardest/worst job description ever for my symptoms. Yep, there’s heaps of positives and it makes me who I am, and I’m pretty amazing, but I won’t gloss over the challenges & I can’t help but struggle with the distinct us/them that now exists in the world with a biological diagnosis like this + marriage breakdown. I’m so grateful for my strong faith, there’s no way I’d be where I am today without that.