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In 2016 studying abroad I got a psychosis, that was triggered by lack of sleep, partying, school and work. But what I did not know was, was that I was manic the week before my psychosis. After friends/family could not care for me anymore they send me to my parents on the island I grew up. There I got medication and help, but the diagnosis was not yet certain, so I recovered from the psychosis and went back to the Netherlands and after a week there I got into a state of depression… After that my psychiatrist told me that my diagnosis is valid: bipolar disorder.


He said you need to get help as soon as possible and I was lucky that the waiting period was not too long. At the mental health clinic  I discussed my case and they said you really do have bipolar disorder, it was like a double edged sword because I knew what was happening but also know it’s for life…


But help from my counselor and psychiatrist put me on the right track. I was 6 months stable with the combination of a antipsychotic and an antidepressant. So I could stop taking them, a month later I got sick again. So I was advised not to stop taking my medication. The years went by and at the end of 2018 after keep switching dosis those medications did not work anymore, so I changed to Lithium and now the Ups and Downs are shorter just days and not months.


I do have some vices that don’t mix well with bipolar disorder and they are: don’t like taking it easy (work a lot), I drink too much, I like to party.


But I now know the importance of resting, planning and doing fun things with friends or just on your own, this brings me a lot of peace of mind.

And these things makes it easier to have  a normal life even if I have need to take pills for the rest of my life!