Sabad and Samira

Growing up finding my identity while dealing with comparisons and labels was challenging. However, I’ve grown to learn that being a twin means we are bound to be misunderstood, but it also means to have someone that understands you the best. In the end, it matters that I understand myself and that my sister and I understand each other because the rest is out of my hands. 

Most twins can probably relate to being compared and how that negatively impacts mental health. Whether it be of personalities, grades, athleticism or anything else, it’s frustrating when achievements or personality characteristics are only mentioned in comparison to my sister. It brings a feeling of injustice, because our identities are so much more nuanced to be reduced to “good twin” or the “bad twin” for instance. I asked myself: who am I separate from my sister?

Thankfully, my sister and I didn’t indulge in the comparisons with each other. We used our shared interests and competitive nature not to demean each other, but encourage ourselves to be better and push each other too. From our perspective, we happened to share some of the interests, and there was room for both of us. I learned to remind myself of that, despite comparisons.

I trust my sister the most with my vulnerabilities and mental health. Since she understands me, the challenges in my life, my perspectives, I don’t have to overly explain myself to be heard. Even if I don’t, she’ll pick up on those subtle cues when I’m trying to not be obviously upset, or sad when others can’t. Other times, I’ll share something with her, like an experience I felt alone in, and be absolutely surprised to realise she felt the same too. Moments like that remind me why being a twin is so special. Even though twins will always be compared, and others might not understand we have complex identities, really, what it means to be a twin is to be deeply understood.