read the full story
read the full story
Alena Ng
Drugs
the new antipsychotics increase my hunger & decrease
the love i have for my body. the new meds change
my body. my body my drugs can change
the body. am i my body or my drugs?
maybe that is what they mean by relationality or interbeing or
God. i’m tired of trying new fucking drugs. i want
a wingspan the circumference of The Earth. i want
to give us all a big stupid slippery hippie Earth hug
to make the drug guns go away.
Insomnia
last friday at camh bridging clinic. the psych on duty asked me what i think is going to happen when the men look at me. and i tell her: i don’t know, i never get that far. i don’t know what will happen if i fall asleep tonite. i don’t get that far.
in the wild i assume if an animal doesn’t sleep, it goes a little crazy. but what animal would do that, unless a parent protecting its baby? i am parent reparenting itself protecting my baby, my
belly my brain my heartbeat my ache my ache
my ache my ache
my ache
my ache
April Fool’s Day, 2023
i got shit to say this April Fool’s Day: don’t tell me to cut my cannabis.
i smoke barely 0.5g a day
out of my shitty little one-hitter
my lungs r fine but
the men’s faces warp into demons they were
demons all along that’s not the fault
of the devil’s lettuce.
someone clipped my horns (maybe we’re all the same).
if we want blame – because we are a civilization of
lynchings – blame the yt man who fucked me
four yrs ago. blame my french great-great-grandfather, at the thai-laos border.
blame the sugar daddies
who birth little sickly-sweet babes like me.
on April Fool’s Day i got shit to say: gimme my grass & leave me alone.
Alena ng (she/they) is a human on Planet Earth. her poetry explores the complexities of life as a neurodivergent queer diasporic femme, including themes such as intergenerational trauma, asian fetishization and what it means to be alive and well under empire. when the writing becomes too much, she dances and cracks jokes to confuse and titillate under the alias china virus).